His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
