I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize