Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
