There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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