Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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