RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All the doctor said was why
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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