White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
