I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Never underestimate the power of titties
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
