he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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