Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize