Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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