Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
