No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
