Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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