i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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