Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
