did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize