There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
