If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I pour the whiskey from now on
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
