is your mom at the bar?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
