i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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