Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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