am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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