i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
