i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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