wrigley field is MILF paradise
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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