There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
