Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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