haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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