I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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