he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
