Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
