so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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