Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
