just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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