Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
