i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
