also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Of course I have a pirate flag
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
