Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize