Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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