I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude. I can hear the air.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
