Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize