if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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