can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
