Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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