is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize