Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
