Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
