she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
