this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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