I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
