i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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