I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
