And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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