just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well most of my day revolves around power hour
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
