I bet he comes in French.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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