My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
